Update on life:
Evo Morales, the president of Bolivia, declared 2 Fridays ago that last Monday, along with Tuesday (Labor Day) is a holiday. It was a "Supreme Decree," most likely to try to please the people that hate him/are protesting against the government. Therefore, unexpected 4-day weekend! And a resulting 3-day school week!
This week seems to be taking the same course...though not because of unexpected holidays, but because of strikes and blockading. Monday and today it was declared that there was no school because of people not being able to get to school because of blockades. I heard that last night things turned pretty violent and there were fires on the streets and protesters taking taxi drivers from their cars and beating them. I'm not too informed about everything going on, but essentially the protesting is from workers trying to demand more money from the government. It is not uncommon here. Pray for justice and peace in this city.
While I am enjoying these days off, it is a selfish sentiment. As much as I feel I've needed rest this year, I want peace in this city more. And I also want to teach my kids everything they need to know and get them ready for next year. That becomes increasingly hard to do when there are becoming less and less days in the year to teach them.
Speaking of selfish....
I have been really selfishly wanting to go home. I want to be met with love and hugs and comfort. I feel ready to be done. And I think days off make me think about that more.
Yet, it is a purely selfish attitude, and I know I have a skewed perception. Yes, God has blessed me with a family and friends that are anxious to see me and love me and I will have all the comforts I miss. Yet, I want to want to be perfectly content and joyful wherever I am, resting in God's love for me, which is far too great to fathom.
I recently have been listening to "Will Reagan and the United Pursuit"--an amazing worship band. Their lyrics are so simple and repetitive, but it is addicting. And it's definitely a good thing to be addicted to. It's been the majority of what I listen to, sing, play on guitar, and have in my head during the day.
In the song "Set a Fire," the band sings:
There's no place that I'd rather be, no place I would rather be, no place I would rather be, than here in Your love, here in Your love.
And I realize that my heart has been singing "There's no place I'd rather be that in Downers Grove with my family"....I don't know why I've become so homesick this semester, but I don't like it. And that may be because I haven't felt close to God lately. I'm trying. I'm wanting these songs to be my heart cry, but wanting them to be and actually singing it honestly from my heart are 2 different things. I want to want to be nowhere else than where God has put me, wherever that may be, and totally encapsulated in His love.
It's so difficult to fathom this love. How can it be better than my mom's embrace? Than a close friendship? Than my dad's encouragement? I know it's better. I've experienced it in my darkest times. But sometimes it's really hard to have a heart knowledge of His love when it's not so tangible in daily living.
I'll end on some lyrics from another United Pursuit song that I almost feel like I could've written...it resonates with me so much:
I lean not on my own understanding. My life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven. I give it all to you now, trusting that You'll make something beautiful out of me. I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open. There's nothing I hold onto.
There's nothing I hold onto... (not my relationships, my job, my life here, my life in DG, my life at Taylor, comforts...nothing).
Father, let that be true. I give it all to you. I don't understand it and I can't control it. Please work in my heart.
